Is Therapy Homework Getting You Down? 8 Ways to Help
There is no failing with therapy homework, as long as you try.
Homework between therapy sessions is a practice dating back decades and based on the idea that a client can improve therapy outcomes through practice. But what happens if therapy homework itself is too challenging or difficult? I have eight ways you can explore to understand and navigate therapy homework.
Before we go any further, though, I want to highlight the most important idea for you to take away: there is no failing with therapy homework, as long as you try.
History, Theory, Practical Use
So, what is the theory behind therapy homework? It's based on the principles of cognitive behavior therapy: by changing ways of thinking, we can change how we react and behave in challenging situations. Also, the inverse is true: by changing the ways we behave, we can change the way we think. Some therapy homework offers practice to help change the way we think, while other approaches focus on changing behavior.
There are three practical reasons to do therapy homework:
If you’re able to practice noticing the state of mind and emotion you fall into during problematic moments, you’re halfway on your way to changing.
Then, you have the opportunity to “talk back” to the difficult mindset that gets triggered.
From there, you have the opportunity to nudge yourself into taking more healthy or intentional actions, instead of acting on impulse or out of detachment.
But the main reason is a classic that is still important: practice makes you better at what you’re doing.
Common Challenges to Doing Therapy Homework
Overcoming challenges always starts with beliefs and feelings. CBT therapists like to use the term “home practice” instead of homework to try and limit your association with school homework. Most of us have negative feelings or dread about homework and link it to the idea of getting a grade and the possibility of “getting it wrong.”
Negative Reactions to Homework
If your therapist suggests home practice, you may notice thoughts and feelings such as:
Anticipating shame
Drawing attention to your perceived flaws
Intense self-criticism
Anticipating disruptive ruminating
Fear that you will be criticized for doing a “bad job”
Common Problems Completing Homework
Sometimes, behaviors communicate thoughts and feelings. So, if you find yourself doing the following, you may want to explore underlying feelings and beliefs:
Procrastinating
Avoiding or forgetting
“Doing it in your head”
Faking it (giving answers you think your therapist is looking for)
The Therapist's Role
As a therapist, I know our homework goal is complete when you simply tried to do the home practice. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have to be exactly what the assignment was, it doesn’t have to be complete. As long as you give it a try, we start there. (Of course, if you had trouble with getting started, we start there!)
If you had a hard time motivating yourself to do the home practice, were unclear on how to complete it, or it just didn’t work as intended, I consider that my responsibility. I can change the assignment, improve our communication, or just try at a more opportune time in the therapy process.
8 Ways to Success with Therapy Homework
Home practice is all about the experience, not the result. This means seeing what thoughts and feelings come up, or what behavior change challenges appear. As long as that is happening, the homework is a success.
Be sure that you feel you understand the home practice, the goals and reasoning behind doing it, and that you are comfortable doing it. If you have any concerns, don’t hesitate to share.
Be practical: Ensure you clearly understand what actions or steps are involved in completing the homework, so you’re not stuck wondering later.
Be sure you have a specific plan for completing homework, including when you will do it, how long you will spend on it, and any obstacles you anticipate. Once you have a plan, ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that you can do it?
Be sure your therapist follows up with you on homework. It keeps you motivated and keeps the therapy on track.
From the beginning, be as honest and direct as you can about your reactions and feelings on the topic of homework. If you have a history of difficulty with homework, it is important for your therapist to know. This will improve the odds of therapeutic success and make the process easier for you.
Collaborate with your therapist on goals, assignments, and steps. The best therapy home practice is one where the client helps create it.
Maybe now is not the time for homework? Maybe there is too much going on in your life, and you need more support or insight now.
If you follow these guidelines, you can take the discomfort and dread out of home practice, improve understanding with your therapist, and increase the odds that the therapy will be successful.
Oh, and you may also find yourself with some skills you can use to take care of yourself long after the therapy has ended.
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